anyone wanna play rock, paper, scissors? don't pick paper!

I got this from Ace who read it on another website. Anyway, it's not important where I got it from, it's just important that you read it. I just wanted to inform everyone it isn't my original work. It explains my thoughts on picking paper:

I UNDERSTAND THAT SCISSORS CAN BEAT PAPER AND I GET HOW ROCK CAN BEAT SCISSORS. BUT THERE'S NO WAY PAPER CAN BEAT ROCK. PAPER IS SUPPOSED TO MAGICALLY WRAP AROUND ROCK LEAVING IT IMMOBILE? WHY THE HELL CAN'T PAPER DO THIS TO SCISSORS? SCREW SCISSORS, WHY CAN'T PAPER DO THIS TO PEOPLE? WHY AREN'T SHEETS OF COLLEGE-RULED NOTBOOK PAPER CONSTANTLY SUFFOCATING STUDENTS AS THEY ATTEMPT TO TAKE NOTES IN CLASS? I'LL TELL YOU WHY, BECAUSE PAPER CAN'T BEAT ANYBODY, A ROCK WOULD TEAR IT UP IN TWO SECONDS. WHEN I PLAY ROCK/PAPER/SCISSORS I ALWAYS CHOOSE ROCK. THEN WHEN SOMEBODY CLAIMS TO HAVE BEATEN ME WITH THEIR PAPER I CAN PUNCH THEM IN THE FACE WITH MY ALREADY CLENCHED FIST AND SAY "OH, I'M SORRY, I THOUGHT YOUR PAPER WOULD PROTECT YOU."