At my office, lunch is a big deal. Every Monday and Tuesday (and sometimes Wednesdays) we have a wholesaler come in for lunch meetings and they pay for the whole office to eat while they give their little sales pitch.
On days when we don't have someone in for a meeting, going out to lunch or going out to pick something up is what the cool kids do. I've kinda learned how to work the system. Naturally, I have my favorites in the office. On any given day, if you go into one of their offices and ask, "where should I go for lunch today?", you've pretty much just assured yourself of a free lunch. When they decide where they're going, they come up and tell you and then you get an invitation to tag along. On occasions like this, there's about a 90% chance your lunch will be bought for you.
Yesterday was a bit of a weird day. Everyone was busy. One of my co-workers and I ran out to pick up sandwiches from Potbelly's. We picked up food for a couple of the guys at the office while we were out. I just put the sandwiches for the guys on my debit card. The bill was $14...no big deal at all. Both of the guys I picked up lunch for had previously picked up a bill for me. I figure I'll be nice and let this one be on me for a change...oh heavens no. They both threw a fit. Neither of them could fathom the idea of me buying lunch for them. It took a lot of talking for me to convince one of the guys to let it stand and the other guy flat out refused.
What's the deal with this? Why is it so wrong for me to reciprocate some of the niceties they've shown me? While their behavior is all nice and chivalrous, it's a bit annoying at the same time.
Any thoughts on this?
Thursday, April 05, 2007
“A friend is one who takes you to lunch even if you're not tax deductible”
Posted by theresa at 8:22 PM
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11 mindblowing comments:
I have no idea why they're like that. I mean, it's one thing for them to buy and not make you pay them back, but it's weird to flat out refuse a gift.
This is going to sound totally piggish on my part but as a man it is almost demeaning to me to have a woman buy me a meal or pay for a drink...I know that is crazy but I have a hard time with it. Since I have been broke as hell latley I have been getting used to it but it is still a hit to the pride...don't ask me why. Must be some kind of social conditioning
I hate to do this but...I agree with Brian. It's centuries of men filling the role of provider. In this age when men no longer run around with swords and chop the heads off their enemies, their wallet has become their sword. (Or maybe I've just read too many romance novels.)
I think it's part of the "Gentleman Code of Conduct"--more or less what Brian and sherbears was saying.
Depending how old they are and how long they've been working, they might be remembering their first years out of college when money was tight, and want to make sure no recent graduate feels the strain (even if you're not).
I'm not sure if it's because they don't like the idea of a woman paying for their lunch. To me, that doesn't matter. But, assuming that they've been at the company longer and are getting paid more than you, I think that relative financial positions might have something to do with it. I think I would feel bad allowing someone who makes a lot less money than me to pay for my meal when I think I should be, at the very least, paying for my own meal.
I'm not sure if that's it, but at least it's a sex-neutral theory. :-)
nick said... "To me, that doesn't matter."
I've noticed. Hee. Teasing.
Just because it's social conditioning, doesn't make it right, but denying T the opportunity to pay, they're denying her the opportunity to say thanks. That's not fair, I don't care what kind of genetalia or paycheck you have.
am i the only one who thinks T is crazy?
you made the effort. they declined. good for you.
if anyone ever wants to buy my lunch or throw a fit when i attempt to buy theirs, i'm all for it.
Sarah, I see what you're saying, but to me, it's kind of like they're sending back a thank you card.
people are very funny about anything money related.
yep, but i'm still putting it out there. anyone wants to buy lunch? call me.
I think it depends on their attitude, Dawn. Perhaps they're seeing T. buying them lunch like sending back the thank-you card. "We bought you lunch as a gift! You don't owe us anything!" :devil's advocate:
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